Help me.

I think I'm starting to swing right. What should I do?

Maybe I just feel guilty.

I spontanteously read the ladies room door in pinyin (romanization of Mandarin Chinese) instead of English. I didn't mean to. It's just that it looked very weird for a minute there, having the restroom suddenly open to all of us.

1. Do I feel guilty for not studying my lessons diligently?
2. Am I going insane?

And now for the problem.

There don't seem to be any recipes out there for a basic, simple, foolproof lasagne that is liked by many, freezes well, that the beginner chef can get right on the first try, and don't require a lot of expensive ingredients. Fennel is fantastic stuff, but I'll save that for the next batch.

Perhaps lasagna is such a simple and universal dish that I should just be able to assemble it based on intuition and past experiences with restaurant food.

How difficult can it be?

I have an idea and a problem.

I'll split this into two posts. First, the idea.

Washington state ought to decide its governor with a winner-takes-all showdown. There would be three events: an apple-bobbing contest, an egg-rolling contest, and a sack race. The next governor is the winner of two of the three contests.

The apple-bobbing contest is a nice tribute to one of the state's famous agricultural products. May the candidate with the bigger mouth win. In the interest of fairness, I should be the one to pick the apples and setup the washtub. Why me? Because I have no vested interest in either candidate. I am quite sure I could dislike both candidates equally.

The eggs in the egg rolling contest would be grade AA extra-large. The spoons would be stainless steel, right out of my drawer.

The sack race would pair each candidate with their deputy.

Many will argue this is a juvenile idea but probably won't offer to explain how this is any less juvenile than what's happening now. At least my idea is faster and cheaper.

I wished for rain.

I got ants.

If I wish for snow, will I get locusts?