希望

There's medication for this, isn't there?

I wish to live a day where I didn't think about consequences. This is not the same as willfully ignoring the consequences of my actions, or participating in activities in which consequences didn't matter. This would be living a day in which I didn't worry about them.

Then I could do something like quit my job in Corporate America and open a coffee shop without wondering whether Starbucks will take the kitty corner. And without worrying about what all that caffeine will do to my health.

Or I could be free to innovate. I would be so bad at forecasting equipment requirements that nobody would call on me to put together a budget when I'm not a manager. I would be so bad at keeping our currently inventory straight, everybody would figure things out without asking me all the time.

I could write real code, because I wouldn't be able to keep reams of data in order.

I wouldn't sound like a wet blanket when we discuss our hopes and dreams.

I could eat out with reckless abandon. I wouldn't worry about how my stomach would feel the next day. Or how thin my wallet would feel.

I would start the day with a sense of culinary wonder, because I wouldn't have already figured out lunch and dinner before the breakfast dishes were all cleaned up.

Laundry day would be any day of the week.

Sigh.