Roasted Chestnuts

1. Poke an X in the curved side with the tip of a very sharp knife. Serrated knives won't work; that's how I nicked a finger. Aim for the curved side because that lets you press the flat side against a cutting board. Plates won't work. And forget about only cutting through the shell. How can you tell you haven't punctured the nutmeat?
2. Arrange the chestnuts in a single layer in an enameled cast-iron pot. The heavy lid is important--if a chestnut explodes, the heavy pot contains the mess nicely.
3. Place said pot in a 350-degree oven. Bake for roughly 20 minutes, until the shells show black spots and they start peeling back at the X. Or some other location. It appeared rather arbitrary.
4. Take out the pot and put it over a medium-low flame on the stove. This will keep the chestnuts warm while you are peeling them.
5. Peel the chestnuts, using a paper towel to help you hold them. Keep a small knife on hand to help with the fibrous parts. Use the tip of said knife to dig out the meat because peeling only works well in theory.
6. Dip hands occasionally in cool water to stave off burns.

Verdict: forget it. I'm staring at the nick on my finger right now.

Shrimp in "Crazy Water", Modified

Ingredients
~24 shrimp, thawed
1 c Corona Light
0.5 c unsalted chicken broth
1 small yellow onion, sliced into thin half-moons
2 cloves garlic, smashed
couple shakes red pepper flakes
2 small handfuls sugar plum tomatoes, halved
couple tablespoons olive oil

Method
1. Saute onion and garlic until the onion turns translucent and slightly golden.
2. Add (carefully) beer and broth, and tomatoes. Simmer 10 minutes.
3. Add shrimp and cover until done.

Costco Polish a la Japadog

Ingredients
1 Costco Polish sausage with bun from the deli
2 tbl thick Korean barbeque sauce (teriyaki works too)
1 snack pack seasoned nori seaweed

Method
* Apply sauce.
* Shred seaweed and top sausage.

Why they're all ripoffs of Cook's Illustrated.

Or, why I post no Chinese recipes.

The Cook's recipes are by far the clearest and easiest to use. Because things are spelled out so well, it's easy to see where you can substitute different ingredients, even if it's not called for.

I don't make stuffed tomatoes or cookies every day, you know. But you would be disappointed with my recipes for Chinese dishes. Case in point:

Braised Chinese Mustard Greens

1 bag Chinese mustard greens (gai choy) (1 bag is the minimum unit they'll sell me)
1 piece (not the entire thing, but enough so the cashier doesn't think you're cheap) ginger, peeled and sliced (Or chunked. The point is no mincing and no paper-thin slices.)
water to cover bottom of pot
dash salt

1. Trim and wash the mustard greens.
2. Find a pot big enough for the greens. Cover the bottom with water and add the salt and ginger. Boil the water.
3. Turn the heat down to medium. Add the greens and cover. Cook until done.

I mean really, there's not much to it.

Stuffed Cherry Tomatoes

Adapted from a Cook's Illustrated recipe.

1 dry pint cherry tomatoes
4 oz goat cheese (most of a TJ log)
6 kalamata olives, rinsed and chopped
1 tbl capers, rinsed and chopped
2 tbl fresh parsley, chopped
drizzle of olive oil

1. Mix the cheese, olives, capers, and parsley. Add enough oil so the mixture holds together.
2. Take the tops off the cherry tomatoes and scoop out their guts. For me, this involved a really small spoon and getting up to my elbows in tomato guts.
3. Spoon the cheese into the tomatoes. I wound up using only half the cheese.

Pros:
* This recipe would be tastier if I had 2 tablespoons olive tapenade, as specified in the original recipe, on hand instead of the capers and olives.
* The cheese is nice on toast.

Cons:
* I thought it could use more olive and less caper. That's what I get for running out of olives.
* I detected a "fishy" taste, which was confirmed by one other person.
* Another person couldn't detect the fishiness, but thought the goat cheese rather strong.
* Gutting a dry pint of cherry tomatoes is surprisingly hard work. Miniature bell peppers would be a better choice as they have a more assertive flavor. However, you'd need to add a squeeze of lemon to the cheese to add a hit of acidity.

Baked egg with tomato.

Adapted from Mark Bittman's NYTimes recipe.

Baked Egg with Tomato

1 egg

tops of 1 pint of cherry tomatoes

dash olive oil, salt, pepper

1. Oil the dish. Preheat the oven to 375.

2. Line the dish with the cherry tomato tops.

3. Salt and pepper the tomatoes.

4. Crack the egg over the tomatoes.

5. Bake, uncovered, for at least 12 minutes. The egg doesn't look done, but believe me, it is. It gets a rubbery layer over the top if you let it go too long. The good news is despite the layer, the yolk turns out almost perfect, which is tough to do in a frying pan. At least it's tough for me.

Note: make sure you use an adorable dish that looks like a tomato. It will take your mind off the fact that you're eating a gazillion cherry tomato tops instead of a proper slice of tomato.

Gingerbread Cookies

Adapted from the recipe on the back of my molasses bottle. This recipe results in cookies that are fairly toothsome. They're not crisp, nor are they soft. If you roll them out fairly thin they start to resemble soft ginger snaps. If you roll them out on the thicker side, they can be a little bit difficult to bite into. However, the result is still not sturdy enough for gingerbread houses.

Well, I like them anyway. They have a black licorice flavor that is not too sweet. If you like sweet, they will take well to icing without becoming overly sweet.

0.75 c each dark molasses, light brown sugar (packed), and butter (1.5 sticks)
1 egg
3 2/3 c flour
1 tbl ground ginger
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp baking powder
0.5 tsp each allspice and baking soda

1. Boil the molasses, sugar, and butter on medium heat. While the mixture cools, measure and blend the dry ingredients.
2. Add the beaten egg to the molasses mixture. Mix the wet ingredients into the dry until well combined.
3. Wrap and chill the dough at least 1 hour.
4. My dough needed additional massaging to become pliable and cohesive enough to roll. Roll it out 1/8" to 1/4" thick and go nuts with the cookie cutter.
5. Bake at 350F for 12-14 minutes, until the edges start to brown. That is, they turn browner than the dough already is.

Makes 32 large bears, 12 large stars, 15 small stars, and one round splodge.

Mmm...

Cheese lasagna freezes beautifully. Sliced portions reheat to an unattractive puddle of sauce, noodles, and cheese, but then, all lasagna does that, except for the comercially made ones. It tastes just fine. If you're hungry enough, it really doesn't matter what it looks like, now, does it?

Here's my recipe. It comes courtesy of Cook's Illustrated. Note the emphasis on where I shop.

Cheese Lasagna (billed as Simple Cheese Lasagna, but I never ever go for complicated recipes)

15 oz ricotta cheese = 1 tub from Trader Joe's.
1.25 c grated parmesan cheese. I use preshredded.
0.5 c basil, minced
1 egg, beaten
0.5 tsp each salt, pepper
2 jars marinara sauce. I use the no-salt added kind from TJ.
12 no-boil lasagna noodles. Thank goodness TJ started carrying these.
1 lb shredded mozzarella = 1 bag preshredded.

1. Set oven to 375F with rack in the middle.
2. Mix ricotta, 1 c parmesan, basil, egg, salt, and pepper until it forms a squidgy mass.
3. First layer: 0.25 c sauce in your 9x13 baking dish, then 3 noodles, then 1 spoon of ricotta onto each noodle. Smoosh out the cheese over the noodle. Scatter 1/4 of the mozzarella over everything.
4. Second and third layers: 1.5 c sauce, 3 noodles, 1 spoon ricotta smooshed on each noodle, 1/4 of the mozzarella. This uses up all the ricotta.
5. Fourth layer: noodles first, then rest of the sauce, then last of the mozzarella, then last of the parmesan.
6. Oil a sheet of foil and use to cover the pan tightly. Bake, covered, 15 minutes.
7. Uncover and bake 25 minutes more.
8. Let sit a few minutes then eat.

Condensed milk in ice coffee cracked.

The trick is to warm your coffee gently (about 1 minute) in the microwave so it's still cool, but just warm enough to allow the condensed milk to integrate. Stir well, and add a couple ice cubes to help dilute the solution and bring down the temperature.

It helps if you've made the coffee and ice with pristine water, and not the stuff from my tap that tastes like a swimming pool and appears to have floaties in it.

Crimes against coffee.

I am a convert to cold-brewed coffee.

Z will roll her eyes because she believes coffee must always be drunk hot, never cold, and by proxy, coffee must always be brewed hot at the optimal temperature.

J will roll her eyes because, despite growing up in the Seattle area, she has managed to avoid becoming half the coffee fiend that Z and I are. (Which must be commended; that's an incredibly difficult thing to master in Seattle.)

I followed the NY Times recipe: steep 1/3 cup medium-grind coffee in 1.5 cups water for 12 hours at room temperature. Strain twice: first through a sieve, second through a coffee filter. The sieves, bowl, measuring cup, and steamer (improvised coffee filter rig) are much easier to clean than the french press.

I'll admit to using decaf instead of regular, but in my defense, I used Peet's. I don't agree with the description in the article. I couldn't taste caramel notes anywhere, although the resulting brew was definitely less harsh than iced coffee made with hot-brewed coffee. Also, this iced coffee definitely needed milk and sugar, and the recipe made too little coffee for my taste.

It tastes wonderful with condensed milk, although I have yet to figure out how to dissolve the condensed milk in cold liquid.

The mango pudding code and lessons learned.

I am getting bolder in my experiments on my friends. Last night marked the first time in which every dish except one was an experiment. (If you has been counting, all of them were experiments in some form or another, but at least I'd made the pasta before.)

Phyllo dough cups: they really are as easy to make as they look, and they turn out nice and light. We discovered that while they are nice filled with tapenade, they are equally nice filled with spinach salad.

Salad: the baby spinach turned out okay, despite the need to wash the greens before using. Julienned basil tastes great in any salad. Everybody seemed receptive to the idea of spooning on their choice of toppings, a nice alternative to tossing the entire salad beforehand. When toasting pecans on the stove, you should watch the pan carefully--if you smell toasted nuts, it's too late (but they make the house smell nice). Bacon is always a hit.

Stuffed chicken breasts: next time, halve the amount of chicken but keep the amount of tomatoes the same. The tomatoes were a hit.

Pasta puttanesca: next time, reduce the amount of red pepper flakes.

Cupcakes: liked the cake mix with its flecks of vanilla, liked the frosting with its rich smoothness, but for some reason they didn't taste very good together. Next time, bake the cake at a lower temperature than specified on the box and make a light lemon glaze.

Mango pudding: terrible. Robertson's brand mix tastes like crayons. Unfortunately, this means the search for the elusive Perfect Mango Pudding Recipe continues.