Agony and the Pursuit of Truth

I have 40 minutes on Tuesday to present my progress over the last quarter. I have spent the last three days working on the slides. The trouble is, there hasn't been much progress. I have spent the quarter validating things. Slowly.

I have come to the conclusion that I am inept. These and past slides have been agonizing precisely because I have to figure out a convincing argument for something that isn't so convincing. At least, it is not convincing to me because I never seem to have enough data. My schedule always indicates that all the data will come after the presentation, which is why I am inept.

Oh sure, people try to reassure me and tell me I actually do have enough data and the argument is a wonderful one. They tell me the presentation went well and I looked like a pro up there.

Just once I would like to give a presentation where I was armed with a ton of data and prepared to chat for hours if the schedule didn't limit me to 40 minutes.

Times like these make me very glad I abandoned all hope of becoming a journalist. Digging for juicy bits on the international political scene sounded wonderful until I realized that I can't write. I certainly can't write on a deadline, which is what journalism is all about.

On the other hand, the inability to write makes for much better slides.

What I would do with a watch that stops time.

Bart Simpson used his to play pranks on the good people of Springfield. Other characters would use it to do good.

Me? I'd catch up on my sleep.

You're a bright guy and that's a stupid question.

My favorite quote from "The West Wing". One of these days I am going to slip up and actually say it to somebody.

I guess I'm not brilliant enough.

I drove 101 up to San Francisco on Sunday. In Palo Alto, a driver in a small older car missed his or her exit and was reversing up the shoulder to get back to it.

I never would have thought to do this in a million years.

I missed my Palo Alto exit too--I was going to meet somebody for lunch on the way up. I got off at the next exit and took the freeway back to the correct exit. I thought about driving all the way to San Francisco and giving a lame excuse for missing lunch. That is the extent of my creativity.

Maybe it's looking a gift horse in the mouth.

I appreciate the effort that went into my plaques. They cost a fair bit of money (plaques do not normally come cheap). The award is much appreciated, especially given that they probably strained the department budget. But there's a but.

Is it too much to ask that all plaques come with appropriate mounting or display hardware? This particular one, the nicest one I have and my personal favorite, has nearly killed me at least twice. It has grooves where the mounting hardware probably goes, but no hardware. I improvised with pushpins. Obviously this isn't working out.

Maybe I really am turning right.

Lately I've been pushing forward on various projects despite their slow and frustrating pace. I have also had to justify these to people who apparently refuse to see my point of view. I have to justify, rejustify, and explain. It all makes perfect sense but I am feeling opposition. I know I'm right and I am pushing for a balanced view of things. But I feel like I'm the only one looking for the alternative route, the way out. So why are so many people treating me like I'm wrong?